


womanifesto

by thunderylee



Category: NewS (Band)
Genre: 9nin news reunion, Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Asexual Character, Blindfolds, Canon Compliant, F/F, Fpreg, LGBTQ Themes, Mentions of Gaslighting, Pansexual Character, Strap-Ons, aromantic spectrum character, brief mention of rape, hetero wedding, it's open to interpretation, jacuzzi sex, kanjani8 cameo, kat-tun cameo, original (supporting) male character, past ryoshige, patriarchy smashing, potential polyamory, side transgender characters, tegoshige endgame, this is not a love triangle, unconventional romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 15:09:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14896880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: Koyama is ready to start a family.





	womanifesto

**Author's Note:**

> i really just wanted to genderfuck the whole operation. title from janelle monaé's instagram ad i keep seeing on my feed.

"I want to try dating again," Koyama says firmly, taking a defensive stance like she's preparing for the other three to attack her upon hearing this news.

"Good luck, Kei-chan!" Tegoshi reacts first, briefly looking up from from her phone to flash their leader a cheery grin. "Anyone would be lucky to have you as their girlfriend."

Next to her, Massu makes an uncomfortable face, but it's probably more in regards to the act of dating than specifically Koyama doing it. "Whatever makes you happy..." she tries, offering what she may think is a supportive expression but looks more like constipation.

Satisfied, Koyama turns toward their fourth member and gives her a hopeful look. "And what does Shige think?"

Shige thinks a lot of things. Her brain is on overdrive, like her best friend of nearly two decades had just announced that she was moving away or quitting the group or  _dying_. As a writer, her thoughts tend to be more on the dramatic side, but as a woman, she has to keep it together or risk being labeled hysterical. At almost thirty-one years old, she's gotten really good at it.

"I think it's great," Shige finally says, forcing her best idol smile that her fans say helps brighten up the world. "I can't wait to meet whomever you choose."

"Oh, you're the best!" Koyama squeals, extending her long arms to hug them all at once. Massu frowns, but allows herself to be squished in the name of member love; after so long of working with the overaffectionate Koyama, she picks her battles. "I knew you would be happy for me."

Despite breathing in three other people's perfumes, Shige feels like Koyama's addressing her directly. For good reason, as Koyama dating is a Big Deal. Not just because they're idols in an all-female talent agency that promotes strong, independent women who don't need a man to be successful, but also because Koyama and Shige have History. The kind where Shige knows what Koyama looks like when she comes.

Koyama officially dating means that she's ready to get married and start a family, namely birthing babies of her own. Her material clock has been ticking since they were teenagers, when every boy she liked was vetted as the future father of her children, and naturally that drove them away. The closest she has ever gotten to anything permanent was with Shige, who is obviously not equipped to get her pregnant. Shige is also not a big fan of kids, even when she was one.

It's something they revisit every couple of years, usually when they're on tour and lonely. Shige loves Koyama as much as she can possibly love another person, but it's not enough for Koyama who wants the fairytale romance and happily ever after. They'll have a few beautiful weeks together before the painful reality sets in, that the two of them are simply not compatible despite their strong feelings and even stronger chemistry.

And up until now, Shige has fooled herself into thinking that things will continue that way, that perhaps neither of them will be compatible with anyone else and they'll grow old together. But the truth is that Koyama's not getting any younger, her thirty-fourth birthday a fierce reminder that her baby-making parts have a shelf life and she needs to get going if she wants to start a family the traditional way.

Shige loves everything about being a woman, and she has used her entire career to promote gender equality and female empowerment, but the only time she wishes she had a penis is when it comes to Koyama. It's ironic because Koyama's actually pansexual, attracted to pretty much everyone who is nice to her, but her happy ending requires a cisgendered man. Artificial insemination isn't good enough--she wants her children to be created out of love.

Massu thinks it's impossible in this world where straight men are overgrown children and bisexual men are rare, and Shige secretly hopes she's right. As much as she doesn't want Koyama to be miserable and settle for something less than her heart's desire, she selfishly doesn't want to share her best friend with anyone else either. This entire time, Shige has been Koyama's most important person next to her mom, and Shige's not keen on being replaced by some sperm generator.

Regardless, she puts on her stage face and pretends to be excited as Koyama "sends out feelers" for potential husbands. As an idol, Koyama can't exactly make an online dating profile or approach strangers in a bar, but the grapevine of Julie's Entertainment is as vast as the Internet and within days Koyama has quite a few options made up of their agency sisters' family members, friends, and friends of friends.

"I know this goes against feminism, but it would be so much easier if Japan still had arranged marriages," Koyama admits as she sorts through a thick stack of print-outs with head shots and short biographies.

"You are probably the only woman to ever speak those words," Massu mutters.

Koyama groans and throws her hands up in defeat. "I can't decide! Shige, you pick."

"You want me to choose the father of your children?" Shige asks incredulously, and Koyama nods so hard that she sends her perfectly-curled hair flying into her face. Shige has an urge to push one of the black locks behind her ear and instantly shakes herself out of it; that ship has sailed, for good this time.

"I'll do it," Tegoshi offers, taking the pile of papers from Koyama and flipping through them at a speed that's entirely too fast for her to read much more than their names. "How many do you want to start with?"

"One?" Koyama guesses. "I can't really focus on more than one person at a time. I'll give them a couple dates to interest me, and if they don't, I'll move on to the next one."

"I'll put them in order then," Tegoshi says as she arranges the papers on her lap. "From cutest to least cutest."

"You aren't even attracted to men!" Shige calls out. "You're gayer than I am."

Tegoshi grins. "Aw, thanks. That just means I'm the best one to pick a husband for Kei-chan. I can use logic to determine who's right for her without thinking with my clit."

Shige thinks this might be the only time the entire fifteen years they've worked together that Tegoshi has ever used logic to do anything, but their youngest has a valid point. Massu makes a face, likely at the mention of clits, but otherwise remains quiet. As their resident asexual, she usually ignores all talk of sex and relationships. She claims that she still feels romantic love, but so many people want sex that it's troublesome to be disappointed over and over again.

NEWS has just finished their spring tour with an upcoming single and a bit of down time before they start putting together their anniversary concerts, but they all have their own work to keep them busy. Between the four of them, they have one news caster, three magazine columns, several TV shows, and four radio programs --and that's just the continuing activities. Tegoshi will be doing the sportscasting for this year's World Cup, Shige got a leading role in a summer drama, and Massu's starring in a stage play.

Which leaves Koyama a lot of time to date. And tell Shige all about it.

"He was fun, but he's not husband material," she dishes about her latest companion. She refuses to call them boyfriends until she finds the right one. "He kept agreeing with everything I said. I want a man who has his own opinions."

Shige has her phone on speaker as she soaks in the bath after a long day of drama filming. "There are two types of men, Keiko--the ones who will boss you around, and the ones who want to be bossed around by you."

"I don't want either of those!" Koyama exclaims, and Shige's laugh echoes off the tile walls. "Doesn't a man exist who is his own person but an equal partner in a relationship?"

" _No_ ," Shige answers promptly. "Carnivore or herbivore are your only options."

"But I want an omnivore!" Koyama huffs.

"Then you gotta broaden your horizons," Shige teases. "Maybe a transwoman or a nonbinary person with a penis would be better for you."

"They're rarer than bisexual men." Koyama makes a frustrated noise that has Shige laughing again. "I'm glad you are enjoying my pain. You're so lucky you're gay."

"Said no one ever," Shige adds. "It's more like I'm lucky I don't want kids, because I don't have to worry about finding one person to put up with for the rest of my life before my eggs dry up."

"Shigemi!" Koyama scolds. "Don't say it like that!"

"I love you," Shige says sweetly, and she can practically  _see_  Koyama frowning.

"I love you too. Bitch."

Shige makes kissy noises and ends the call. Her fingers are starting to prune and if she stays in the tub any longer, she'll fall asleep. Memorizing lines and promoting a new single along with her regular work is so demanding that these nightly chats with Koyama is the only socialization she's had since their tour ended. The only reason she even knows what Tegoshi and Massu are up to is because Koyama tells her.

Being so busy has its upsides, aside from the fame and fortune anyway. Shige doesn't have any time to think about the future, specifically in regards to Koyama and their relationship outside of work. She'll worry about that when she can keep her eyes open for longer than it takes for her head to hit the pillow.

It's two in the morning one night when Shige gets home and finds Tegoshi on her couch. "Aren't you supposed to be in Russia?"

"I fly out tomorrow," Tegoshi replies. She's playing a game on her phone, emitting the usual frustrated grunts that have become regular background noise in their meetings. "Give me a minute to finish this level."

Shige has something to say about being told to wait in her own home by someone who was not even invited, but she's too tired to summon the energy to voice it out loud. Instead, she ignores Tegoshi's presence completely and goes right to bed, flinging off her bra and shucking her pants on the way.

She's halfway asleep when she hears a disapproving tut from the doorway, her annoyed groan vibrating the mattress as a weight dips next to her. "Go away."

"I'm already here," Tegoshi says bluntly, and Shige gives up fighting as she's snuggled from behind. "Aren't you sad about Kei-chan?"

"Not really," Shige lies. "I'm too busy to care what she does."

"You won't always be busy though," Tegoshi says. "It'll be different once she gets married and has a family, right? We'll still be together as NEWS, but she'll have more important people in her life and as big as her heart is, she won't have time for all of us outside of work."

Shige cringes as Tegoshi hits the nail right on the head, speaking out loud what Shige's been avoiding thinking about this entire time. "I just want her to be happy..."

"She's the happiest with us," Tegoshi argues, squeezing Shige so tight that Shige can feel breasts squished into her back. "No man is gonna love her the way we love her, even if he can give her babies."

Shige sighs as she reluctantly agrees, then notices the plural pronoun. "Are  _you_  sad about Koyama?" she asks.

Tegoshi doesn't reply right away, and that's all the answer Shige needs. Sympathy is a lot easier to give than receive, which has Shige turning around and taking Tegoshi in her arms, pressing her face in the other woman's wild blonde hair. Tegoshi makes a pleased noise and burrows her small body in Shige's embrace, the soft exhales of her breath lulling Shige back to sleep. It's too soon when her alarm goes off, pulling a whine from both of them, and Shige spends more time prodding Tegoshi out of bed than getting ready herself.

"Next time, you come to my place," Tegoshi mumbles as she clings to Shige so she doesn't have to open her eyes. "Then I can keep sleeping."

"Next time?" Shige repeats. Her manager is waiting for her in the car, not at all surprised to find two disheveled idols emerging from the building half awake instead of one.

"The next time you're sad." Tegoshi punctuates her statement with a pinch to Shige's side. "You don't have to be lonely alone."

"You're going to be gone for a  _month_ ," Shige points out.

"Just staying busy~" Tegoshi says evasively, somehow managing to execute an adorable wink with both of her eyes closed. "I'll text you when I get back. Good luck with your drama!"

The next four weeks fly by in a whirlwind of drama filming, interviews, and struggling to write. Two of the three magazine columns are Shige's, though one of them is a silly collaboration with Kanjuli8's Maruyama called  _Boyfriends_. She's also been commissioned for monthly essays and short stories for two other national publications, not to mention the novel she's been working on all year--her  _ninth_ , she recalls proudly.

As much as she loves using her words to tell stories and share experiences, her creativity doesn't come in ten-minute increments between scenes and her imagination isn't fueled by caffeine. Thankfully, there's enough going on in the world for Shige to crank out  _something_  substantial every month, even if they're just feminist rants disguised as fiction.

Tegoshi actually inspired Shige's latest essay about being one of only three women in the entire  _world_  chosen to commentate the  _men's_  World Cup for their respective countries. Tegoshi may be an outspoken butch lesbian, but she still has breasts and that's enough to earn her harassment and mistreatment just like any other woman in the world.

Shige's more femme than Tegoshi, and that's saying something. Then again, the two of them are tomboys compared to Massu and Koyama. Massu's known for her eclectic fashion sense while Koyama's whole image is based on being tall and cute. Shige doesn't think she's ever seen Koyama in actual pants, showing off her legs and arms in frilly, floral dresses that make all three of the other members turn up their noses.

Tegoshi's the one who stuffs her hair under a hat and binds her chest while wearing her normal clothes to play a male character in their skits on stage. Even as the smallest, she's the most convincing as a man without really trying, and Shige thinks that says a lot for her as a person. Then again, she was basically raised as a boy, with short hair and sports clubs, and the only reason she joined Julie's is because she wanted to sing and dance without being sexualized like the female idols of the past.

Joke's on her, because she's sexualized anyway, but she's just as bad. Shige would bet money that she's "getting along" with her male colleagues in Russia by joining them in their objectification and mockery of all things feminine. While that's problematic on so many levels, Shige has given up trying to fight someone else's internal misogyny and is just grateful that Tegoshi doesn't go after high school girls anymore.

Massu's hair is purple the next time Shige sees her, but that's not anything shocking. Both Massu and Tegoshi dye their hair so much that Shige doesn't know how it hasn't all fallen out yet. Massu may be a private person who doesn't really weigh in on controversial topics, but she definitely makes a statement with her appearance. Her hair has been cut above her shoulders ever since Shige's known her, purely because she was once told that women shouldn't have short hair.

"How are you holding up?" Massu asks sincerely, because she's really caring and sweet underneath her stoic exterior, and also in a very good mood from eating her favorite gyoza.

"I'm beat," Shige answers honestly. "I'm getting too old for this."

Massu snorts. "You'd have a lot more energy if you went to the gym."

"When would I even go?" Shige asks. "I only sleep for four hours a night as it is. This is worse than when I was in university. At least research papers don't require much active thought."

"Maybe cut back on your writing?" Massu suggests. "You're not going to do your best if you spread yourself so thin. It's better to do a few things wholeheartedly than a bunch of things half-assed."

Shige sighs. "But it's so  _important_  that I have these platforms to express myself and stand up for other women and LGBTQ people. The only reason I even accepted this drama role is because my character is three-dimensional and the plot is more than just romance."

"But are you really reaching the demographic that needs to see it?" Massu asks with a frown that darkens Shige's life. "People only seek out media that they already agree with. Misogynists and fuckboys aren't going to suddenly change their ways because you're not showing cleavage on TV."

"Way to rain on my pride parade," Shige mutters, then notices Massu's eyes on her lunch. "Did something happen, Taka?"

"It's nothing," Massu says quickly. "I was grabbed by someone the other day at the market."

"WHAT?!" Shige exclaims, earning the attention of almost everyone in the restaurant, and Massu glances around nervously as she leans forward.

" _Be quiet_ ," she hisses. "He didn't get very far before I twisted his arm, but it wasn't his actions that bothered me. It was his words."

"What did he say?" Shige asks carefully, caging her rage by making fists out of both hands. Good thing she had just cut her nails.

"Well, I was looking at the melons, so you can figure out what comparison he made." Massu folds her arms over her very well-endowed chest. "He made me feel so  _dirty_ , Shige. It was nine o'clock in the morning in the produce department, for fuck's sake. This kind of stuff is only supposed to happen late at night in shady neighborhoods to women in skimpy clothing."

"I'm going to overlook the slut shaming in favor of your trauma," Shige says slowly, and Massu rolls her eyes. "I'm so sorry that happened to you, Taka. Men are honestly the worst."

"And they're not the ones reading your essays," Massu goes on. "You may be helping to empower women and non-straight people, but you are  _not_  changing the minds of anyone who already thinks that we're not worthy of basic human decency. Everyone has the freedom to choose what they read and watch and most importantly  _believe_. This freedom becomes a double-edged sword when someone chooses to only experience an echo chamber of regurgitated opinions and experiences that already support their mindsets."

Shige blinks at the harsh reality that's coming out of Massu's mouth. It may be the most passionately Massu has spoken about anything other than food, clothes, or her infamous annoyance with Tegoshi in the entire time Shige has known her. Shige also doesn't have anything to say to that, so she just nods and picks at her own gyoza, suddenly not very hungry. Massu easily changes the subject and Shige plays along, pretending to be interested in Massu's latest design for their anniversary concert costumes until the topic turns to Koyama.

"I don't like her new boyfriend," Massu says bluntly. "He's rich and entitled and does that manipulative thing where he coerces Koyama to share his opinion and think it was her own decision."

"I didn't even know she had decided on someone..." Shige trails off, guilt flooding her as she tries to remember the last time she'd listened to her voicemails. "I've missed her calls for the past couple days." (Weeks.)

"You should probably meet him before she decides to marry him," Massu tells her. "If you say he's bad news, she'll listen to you."

Shige disagrees, but she's not about to get into their History with Massu. Massu made it clear many years ago that she doesn't care what the other girls get up to with each other as long as she doesn't have to be a part of it or hear about it. Sometimes, Shige thinks the basis of their friendship is the comfort of  _not_  talking about their personal problems. As much as it's unhealthy to keep one's thoughts and feelings inside, not to mention that it's a product of the patriarchy to silence women and deem their experiences unworthy of consideration, there's something to be said (or not said) about the inner peace that comes along with just enjoying another person's company without going into everything that's wrong at the moment.

It's a nice break anyway. Massu's pretty adamant when it comes to physical health, particularly food, and if any of them go too long without eating in front of her she will shove them toward a plate. Shige wouldn't be surprised if Massu video chats with Tegoshi in Russia to make sure she's eating, especially after the scare they had when she was younger.

Right before Shige has to head back to the drama set, her phone goes off for what seems like the millionth time today. "My parents keep calling," she tells Massu apologetically. "If someone died, I wish they would just leave a voicemail about it."

"Seriously?" Massu replies, and Shige's heart jumps into her throat for the entire four seconds it takes Massu to go on, automatically thinking the worst. "They're probably just calling to tell you happy birthday."

"Birthday?" Shige repeats, genuinely confused as she pictures her color-coded calendar in her head. "But that's not until next month...wait, what day is it?"

"July eleventh," Massu answers. "Are you so overworked that you forgot your own birthday?"

Shige gapes as she unlocks her phone for the first time and scrolls through her messages. One birthday text after another, starting with Tegoshi at midnight Russia time. Once she clears out the notifications, the wallpaper of herself and Koyama from last Christmas displays the date in big numbers.

"Shit," Shige says, glancing up at Massu who's giving her an amused look. "That means I missed your birthday too."

"You can make it up to me when you have time to sleep again," Massu assures her. "I do love your cooking."

"I'll make you whatever you want," Shige insists. "Later."

Massu grins and Shige instantly feels better. "Happy birthday, you old hag."

"You're older than me!" Shige shoots back, but she's laughing.

Sure enough, she's surprised with a cake and a small party from her drama cast that evening, and they even wrap up before midnight so Shige can enjoy what's left of her special day. She uses the entire seventeen minutes to reply to messages, thanking everyone for the birthday wishes and apologizing for being so busy lately, and she even wakes up her parents who are happy to hear that their only child isn't ignoring them.

They're also happy to hear about Koyama's quest for fertilization, which naturally leads to questions about grandchildren and Shige's own love life. She hasn't broken the news to them that she doesn't want kids yet, hoping that some day her maternal instinct will magically appear and she won't have to break their hearts. Now that she's thirty-one years old, that seems highly unlikely.

She had thought the hardest thing she ever had to tell her parents was that she's gay. Oh, how wrong she was. Two uteri just mean more babies.

The day Shige's drama starts airing is coincidentally her first day off in six weeks, and she spends the entire day catching up on her life. She cleans her apartment, churns out a couple essays, writes an entire chapter of her novel, and outlines her short stories for the rest of the year. She mourns her dying plants and weeds out the clothes she never wears from her closet to donate. She spends a few thousand yen at Costco and invites Koyama and Massu over for dinner and an all-exclusive viewing of the first episode.

Koyama doesn't show up alone, falling all over herself to apologize for her boyfriend who  _insisted_  on meeting the amazing woman he hears so much about. Massu flashes Shige an "I told you so" look while Shige pretends it's no problem at all, welcoming the newcomer and setting another place at the table.

"I'm so sorry," Koyama whispers under the pretense of helping Shige in the kitchen when she's about as useful as a broken spatula. "We were already out, and I felt rude for not inviting him."

"You felt rude, or he made you feel rude?" Shige asks easily without looking up from the stove. "I don't like him already."

"Please, Shige," Koyama pleads, curling her arms around Shige's shoulders and resting her head on top of Shige's because she's that insanely tall. "Give him a chance. He's the best one I've found so far. He's not using me for my money  _or_  my body! He doesn't even objectify me!"

"That's not something to brag about!" Shige hisses.

"Just get to know him?" Koyama asks so desperately that Shige pushes down morbid thoughts that Koyama's safety relies on her approval. "He's a good man. I promise."

Shige makes a noncommittal noise, but she's all smiles when she serves dinner to her guests. Cooking is one of the few traditionally feminine things that she loves, and everyone she feeds tells her she's really good at it.

"So, Suzuki-kun," she says once they've all had a chance to dig in. "What social causes are important to you?"

Massu smiles behind her chopsticks and Koyama gives her a pointed stare along with a very fake smile. Their unexpected guest doesn't look surprised at all, simply finishes swallowing his mouthful and fixes Shige with the dominating eye contact that cisgendered men all seem to be born with.

"Well, my law firm funds a domestic violence shelter and represents many battered women in court," Suzuki replies easily. "My mother was a survivor, just like Keiko's."

He puts his hand on Koyama's arm and they share a heartfelt look. Shige tries not to let her disgust show on her face; using their shared trauma as a connection is so  _low_.

"We also have a program for homeless people and low-income families to learn valuable skills to earn more money," he goes on. "Our entire mail room is staffed with people we find on the street."

"That's nice," Shige says. "Would your past romantic partners say that you treated them well?"

"Shige!" Koyama interjects.

"No, it's okay," Suzuki says, patting Koyama's arm again before returning to his staring contest with Shige. "It's natural that you would be concerned about your best friend. I've read your work, Kato-san. You are an incredible writer with many important things to say."

Shige tries not to look too flattered. "Thank you. Now, please answer my question."

"I would think that my past romantic partners would say that I've treated them  _very_  well," he answers. "I've only had three serious relationships, and I married one of them. They all ended for amiable reasons--one moved away, one fell in love with another man, and it turned out that my ex-wife couldn't conceive. I'm still friends with all of them."

"I've met his ex-wife," Koyama adds. "She's very nice and happily married to a man who already has children."

Shige nods, leaving a few uncomfortable seconds of silence before she speaks again. "Where do you stand on LGBTQ issues?"

Suzuki grins. "Gay marriage should be legal, obviously. Everyone should be safe to live as they are, regardless of gender or sexuality. Admittedly, I didn't know what pansexuality was until Keiko taught me, but I understand it now."

"Do you know what asexuality is?" Massu speaks up.

"Yes," Suzuki answers. "It's so awful that people expect sex as part of a relationship. It's about shared pleasure first and foremost, and if one person isn't getting pleasure out of it, it shouldn't be happening."

Massu just hums in response, but she looks considerably happier.

"Our society is too focused on sex and gender segregation," Suzuki goes on. "If influential people didn't keep going on about it, regular people wouldn't think it was such a big deal. It doesn't help that women are historically sexualized in the media either."

Maybe he's not so bad after all. Shige lowers her hackles and sends a small smile to Koyama. "If we're all done eating, shall we relocate to the living room? My drama is starting soon."

She starts to clean up, but Suzuki stands up to take the dishes from her. "Please, allow me. I'm not a klutz in the kitchen, I promise."

"That's me," Koyama declares, and both Shige and Suzuki make the same noise of amusement because it's true.

"All right," Shige agrees, handing over the dishes and gesturing toward the cabinets. "The tupperware is in there, the towels are in this drawer, and there's more dish soap under the sink if you need it. I think my current bottle is almost empty. Help yourself to whatever you want to drink when you're done."

With that, she leaves him to it and grabs beers for herself, Koyama, and Massu. They situate themselves on the couch so that Massu's at one end and a space for Suzuki is at the other, leaving Koyama and Shige to share the middle cushion like usual. Shige shares some entertaining on-set stories while they wait for the episode to start, which is right when Suzuki joins them with a glass of amber liquid.

"You have a rather impressive liquor collection, Kato-san," he says, holding up his glass and leaning forward to toast them without impeding Koyama. "Kanpai!"

"Kanpai!" Massu returns the cheer, followed by Koyama and finally Shige.

Suzuki offers his glass to Koyama, who makes a face as she politely pushes it away. "Whiskey is gross."

"It's an acquired taste," Suzuki says, winking at Shige behind Koyama's head, and Shige scoffs as she stretches her arms over the back of the couch.

The first episode is intriguing and suspenseful enough to keep viewers watching, including Shige who actually knows what happens. Watching herself on TV is surreal, especially since she's actually wearing makeup. She doesn't think she's willingly worn makeup since Halloween.

"Shige is so convincing in this role," Koyama says during the ending credits, their new single playing in the background.

"What I liked the most is that she didn't need to use her body to trick anyone," Suzuki comments, and Shige raises an eyebrow. "A male character wouldn't have to do that for sure."

"Definitely not," Shige agrees, and Koyama positively  _beams_  as she loops her arm around Shige's and nuzzles her frizzy hair like a cat.

"We should get going," Suzuki says then, standing up and brushing the wrinkles from his pants before reaching out a hand for Koyama.

"Oh, I can take her home," Massu offers. Shige watches Suzuki's face tilt in bewilderment like the concept of leaving without Koyama doesn't compute to him.

"Isn't it okay if I stay?" Koyama asks gently. "We haven't hung out in so long."

"Won't you all be working together in a few days when Tegoshi-san gets back?" Suzuki counter-asks with a small frown. "Then you'll be busy again and our visits will be very short. Let's spend the rest of our time together before I have to go without seeing your beautiful face."

Koyama blushes while Shige can't hide her disgust. "Seriously?" she barks. "You don't own her. She can do what she wants with whom she wants  _when_  she wants."

"Of course," Suzuki says automatically, jumping back like Shige had physically intimidated him. "It's her choice to make."

"Um." Koyama looks between Suzuki and Shige several times before huffing in frustration. "I'll just go. Thanks for dinner, Shige."

"Yeah, no problem," Shige says flatly, folding her arms in disapproval as Koyama allows her boyfriend to help her up and guide her to the door.

"It was nice to meet you both," Suzuki says politely, flashing a victorious smile over Koyama's shoulder. "I'm sure I will see you again."

"I'm sure you won't," Shige grumbles under her breath as they let themselves out.

"You know," Massu says after a few moments of silence and several angry swigs of beer. "I saw this American crime show where a popular businessman ran a DV shelter and  _also_  an underground prostitution ring."

"You're not helping," Shige says, and Massu pats her back awkwardly.

Tegoshi's not much better when she returns from Russia, instantly bonding with Suzuki and teaming up with Koyama against Shige. In fact, the only reason Shige takes Tegoshi up on her offer to spend the night is to get it through her thick bleached head that Suzuki is emotionally manipulative.

"This is how abuse starts," Shige insists as Tegoshi blinks at her with zit cream all over her face. "First, he keeps her away from her friends. Then, he makes her dependent on him. Finally, he completely revamps her reality to believe things that didn't really happen to keep her under his control."

"First, we saw  _The Girl on the Train_  together," Tegoshi mocks. "Second, aren't you just jealous? Even if she doesn't end up with this guy, she'll find another one. Finally, no matter what you do, she's not going to choose you, and you need to accept that."

"I am not jealous!" Shige exclaims. "I am worried about my best friend's safety!"

Tegoshi sighs. "Kei-chan is a grown ass woman and perfectly capable of taking care of herself. All of the examples you gave me of this supposed gaslighting are just her choosing him over you, which she's going to keep doing, so you need to get used to it."

"You're not listening to me," Shige mutters, lifting her hands up to rub her eyes, and when she brings them back down, Tegoshi's in her face. "Koyama is in  _danger_."

"And you're not listening to me," Tegoshi says slowly, like Shige is a child who needs things spelled out for her. "You are lonely, and it's okay."

"I am not lonely either," Shige replies in the same tone. "I've been surrounded by people every day for the past two months. If anything, I'm in desperate need of some alone time."

"Whatever gets you off," Tegoshi says pointedly, and Shige rolls her eyes. "Unlike you, I am woman enough to admit when I'm lonely, and I just spent the past month at a sausage fest. Would you believe there wasn't one single lesbian at the whole tournament? Not even a bi-curious!"

"You don't say," Shige deadpans. "Russia is so friendly toward gay people."

Tegoshi frowns at her. "If you're not going to cuddle me, go home."

"Okay, fine," Shige agrees, ignoring Tegoshi's bright grin to maneuver her bra out from under her shirt. She's already wearing cotton shorts, which had earned her a few catcalls on the way from her car to Tegoshi's front door.

Emma the poodle joins them on Tegoshi's bed, curling up in Tegoshi's arms as Tegoshi scoots pointedly back towards Shige. Shige swallows back her huff and slips her own arms around Tegoshi, feeling more skin than she'd expected as her chin rests on a bare shoulder.

"Can't you at least wear a cami?" Shige asks as she's fiercely reminded of Tegoshi's  _natural_ sleep state.

"It's my bed," Tegoshi replies, her voice muffled by a combination of pillow and fur. "And it's nothing you haven't seen  _or touched_  before."

This time, Shige lets the scoff escape and focuses on snuggling the smaller woman. Despite not caring about her appearance off camera, Tegoshi usually smells nice. Her skin is so warm and soft, her belly inverting when Shige's fingers accidentally brush against it. "Sorry."

"It's okay," Tegoshi says, her normally loud voice not much more than a whisper. "You can keep going, if you want."

"What?" Shige asks, her heart beating in her chest.

"You know what." Tegoshi reaches her own hand down to cover Shige's, lacing their fingers together as she moves them both over her abdomen. "I'm not opposed to having your hands anywhere on me...or  _in_  me."

Shige gasps, her lips grazing Tegoshi's shoulder enough to make her arch. "I thought you didn't like that?"

"A finger or two is okay," Tegoshi tells her. "I have a strap-on if you wanna get dicked down."

"Oh my god, we're actually going to do this." Shige's groan is a mixture of frustration and anticipation, leaning more toward the latter when Tegoshi moves their hands up to the swell of her breasts. They're small just like Tegoshi herself is, but it's enough for Shige to hold one in her hand while her fingers slide around the nipple.

"Mm,  _Shige_ ," Tegoshi moans, arching even more from the stimulation as Shige's mouth starts moving purposefully along the back of her neck. "Come here."

"Make me," Shige replies, just to be a brat, and she's gasping again when Tegoshi flips over to kiss her hard. Tegoshi's such a passionate kisser, demanding the full attention of whomever she's accosting, and Shige has to concentrate to keep touching her while her brain is thoroughly distracted by Tegoshi's tongue.

Tegoshi's hands are on Shige too, going right up her shirt to where her own breasts are sensitive and tingling. She's a little rough, but it just has Shige arching for more as the heat between them grows. Tegoshi rolls over on top of Shige and wedges a leg between hers, rubbing right where Shige's underwear is growing damp from her own desire.

Her shirt becomes a casualty when Tegoshi yanks it over her head, leaning down to lick one nipple and then the other. A hand slips between Shige's legs and Shige moans out loud as it continues past both waistbands, spreading her slick folds before hooking a finger under her clit.

It's so fast that Shige's body doesn't quite catch up, both hands fisting the sheets as Tegoshi brings her to orgasm within thirty seconds. When Shige comes back to earth, Tegoshi looks as surprised as Shige feels, and they both laugh as Tegoshi kisses her slowly.

"Do you want me to put on the strap-on?" Tegoshi asks against Shige's lips, and Shige shakes her head. "Just a dildo then? Vibrating or no?"

"Just your fingers is fine," Shige says, pointedly wrapping her legs around Tegoshi's thin waist. Now that she's come, she's a lot more open to the idea of being like this with this person.

"You're the worst lesbian ever," Tegoshi teases, but she makes her way between Shige's legs and eases a finger inside her.

"Or the best," Shige amends, her hips automatically rocking up toward the touch. Tegoshi's the one who moans as she pushes in another finger, moving them back and forth until Shige's trembling beneath her.

"You gonna come again?" Tegoshi asks, her voice as rough as her actions, and Shige's already nodding before her brain processes the question. "Come for me, baby."

Shige will never tell another living soul that being called "baby" by international heartthrob Tegoshi Yuuko is what pushes her over the edge, but right now she feels too good to care very much. Tegoshi doesn't stop either, finger-banging her so hard and fast that she comes again, and Shige honestly doesn't understand why women settle for a stiff phallus when they can have multiple dexterous fingers.

"My turn?" Tegoshi asks hopefully, and Shige nods along with her whine when Tegoshi's fingers leave her body. "If I remember correctly, your tongue is phenomenal."

Shige's grinning as she rolls them over and pins Tegoshi to the bed. "I'll show you how good of a lesbian I can be."

"Mm, yeah," Tegoshi encourages her, arching as Shige kisses her way down Tegoshi's chest. "Want me to put your hair up?"

"Please," Shige answers, already hindered by the long black strands in her face. She feels it all swept up and secured in a bun with an elastic band, loose enough to fling from side to side as Shige moves from breast to breast. "Thanks."

She waits until Tegoshi's grinding against her thigh before continuing down, her hands sliding up Tegoshi's prickly legs that gradually part for her. Tegoshi's stomach flutters again, this time under her lips, and Shige teases her a bit by tracing her folds with one finger and ignoring where she's blatantly trying to move her.

"Shi _geeee_ ," Tegoshi whines, and it's music to Shige's ears. "Come on."

As much as Shige wants to make Tegoshi beg, it's much more satisfying to listen to her moaning once Shige makes contact with her clit. First with her finger, then with her tongue, looping her arms around Tegoshi's thighs to hold her still and spread her open as she laps at the twitchy bump.

"Oh, Shige, right there," Tegoshi gets out between gasps for air, her hips thrusting against Shige's face in a way that feels beyond her control. "Don't stop."

Stopping isn't in Shige's vocabulary right now, preening at how Tegoshi is falling apart from her mouth. She slips a finger between them and outlines Tegoshi's very wet opening, groaning at the muscles that squeeze around her as she pokes a fingertip inside.

"Yeah," Tegoshi consents, spreading her legs wider. "Just one, but yeah."

Shige answers by pushing the rest of her finger in, moving it in and out while she licks rapidly at Tegoshi's clit. Tegoshi's close and Shige can feel it, the muscles tightening around her as well as Tegoshi's noises escalating. This one is liable to scream when she comes, and Shige will love it.

She's not disappointed, her name sung in a high note that will never grace any stage as Tegoshi convulses against her face. Shige keeps licking until Tegoshi physically shoves her away, then grins while Tegoshi curls into the fetal position and jerks a few more times. Shige watches her compact and then unfold, stretching out onto her back as her breasts heave with her deep breaths.

"You okay there?" Shige asks carefully, half serious as she sidles up to Tegoshi's side.

"Oh yeah," Tegoshi answers with a grin. "I feel good."

"Brat," Shige says affectionately, and Tegoshi grabs her by the forearm to pull her into another kiss. This one is gentle and lazy, the only urgency behind it related to their comfort. "Let's take a shower."

"Don't wanna mooove," Tegoshi whines, and Shige resigns herself to prodding Tegoshi out of bed yet again.

It's a credit to how distracted Koyama is with her shiny new relationship that she doesn't notice that Shige and Tegoshi arrive together for their first day of concert preparations. Massu does, if the way she wrinkles her nose is any indication, but that one's not about to say anything about it. Shige's glad because she doesn't want to put a name on whatever it is she's doing with Tegoshi, content the way things are where they act like normal during the day and find comfort in each other's arms at night.

Tegoshi's busier than usual, catching up on all of her TV show appearances and all of the other things she missed while she was in Russia. She's actually asleep the next time Shige invites herself over, but she happily snuggles into Shige's embrace and wakes up with a smile on her face.

She's still a nightmare to get out of bed, but Shige would be concerned if she suddenly wasn't.

"Want to grab some dinner after our meetings today?" Massu asks Koyama a week later. Shige supposes that Massu hasn't seen Koyama eat in a while.

"Oh, I can't today," Koyama says apologetically. "Hiro-kun and I are looking at houses."

"You're moving in together?" Shige demands, waking up enough to act on the warning sirens in her head. "Isn't it a little fast?"

"I need to have a baby before next year, so no," Koyama answers briskly. "We can grab dinner tomorrow."

"I don't like him," Shige blurts out, frowning at the pout that forms on Koyama's face. "He screws with your head! And now he's putting you in a position to be dependent on him."

"What are you even talking about?" Koyama asks, her voice soft but her eyes hard. "I still have my job and my own money. He's the one who offered to cut back at the firm so he could stay at home with our child when I'm on tour. One of my stipulations for doing this is that I keep working. It's non-negotiable."

"But he keeps saying you might change your mind," Massu speaks up, and Shige struggles to contain the rage that boils in her veins. "He's planting the seed now so that when the time comes, he can resent you for hindering his career."

"That doesn't even make sense," Koyama replies. "And I expected pushback from Shige, but not you."

"Why me?" Shige asks. "We  _all_  care about you."

"I am not a part of whatever this is," Tegoshi calls out from where she's yet again gaming on her phone.

"You're obviously still in love with me," Koyama says to Shige, and Shige gasps indignantly. "It's okay, I understand. But I will not allow you to sabotage my family in the hopes that we'll get back together. As much as I love you, I cannot make a baby with you, so please just let me be happy."

"Is that what you think, or what he told you to think?" Shige blurts out without thinking.

For a split second, Shige thinks Koyama is actually going to punch her. Instead, the eldest straightens up and stares Shige right in the eyes, twirling her hair around her fingers like she does when she's mad. Shige hasn't seen it very many times, and it's  _never_ been directed at her.

"Hiro-kun and I are getting married and having a family whether you approve of it or not," Koyama says slowly. "You can either be supportive of  _my_  decision, or you can just be someone I work with. I have no problem asking someone else to be my maid of honor."

"That's not the thing you want to threaten me with," Shige points out. "I'm not interested in being anything with 'maid' in the title."

"We're not alike this way, Shige," Koyama tells her, and now she looks sad. "I was put on this earth to be a mother, and everything I've done in my life has led up to this moment. If I fuck this up, there won't be another chance. Can't you understand that?"

"I do," Shige assures her. "You still have time to find someone else. I support your decision to get married and have children, Keiko. I just don't think he's right for you."

"Well, that's too bad, because I do." Koyama hardens her face again as she stands up and grabs her phone. "I'm stepping away for a few minutes to regroup. When I return, we'll get back to work."

She disappears in a whirlwind of black curls and flowery perfume, and for the first time in  _years_ , Shige feels like she wants to cry. Koyama's ultimatum means they can't even be  _friends_  anymore, and they've been friends since before they were officially colleagues.

"She didn't mean that," Massu rushes to console her, eyeing her carefully like she was liable to explode.

"I think she did," Tegoshi says gently, actually abandoning her phone to walk over to Shige and hug her from behind. "I know this is hard, but you have to let her go. Even if he is bad for her, it's  _her_ mistake to make. You can't protect her from everything."

"At what point do we step in though?" Massu asks, and Shige's so grateful to have an ally that her heart aches even more. "This kind of abuse is supposed to be subtle. If she stops trusting us, we'll never know if she needs our help."

"I have to lie," Shige realizes out loud. "If I pretend to be supportive, she'll keep telling me the truth and maybe reach out if it gets bad."

"There's no way you can do that," Tegoshi says gently, and Massu nods her agreement.

"I have to." Shige straightens up and puts on her idol face. "It's just acting, right? I'll play the part of someone who doesn't care about her best friend enough to stop her from sticking her head in the oven."

"Maybe don't introduce the character like that," Massu suggests.

A few moments later, Koyama returns and flashes a very fake smile. Shige stands up and pulls her into a hug, apologizing into her hair and squeezing her until she returns the gesture.

"I'll learn to like him," she says when she pulls back, taking both of Koyama's hands in hers. "Because I want you to be happy."

"Thank you," Koyama tells her. "That means a lot to me."

"And I'd be honored to be your...single person of honor," Shige goes on, cringing at the wording. "We gotta find something else to call it."

"I'll look into options," Koyama says, but her grin is real.

Shige's acting skills are better than she had thought, especially when Koyama announces to all of their fans that she's going to start a family on the last night of their anniversary concerts. Naturally, the men look disappointed, but the women cheer their heads off and Shige realizes in horror that Koyama will be a  _role model_  to working mothers.

"Shige, you've been pacing for twenty minutes," Tegoshi tells her a few days later, when Shige's filming had ended early enough for Shige to be properly angry again. "Will you come sit down already?"

"She's getting rid of her  _cat_ , Tego," Shige mutters as she ignores the other woman's suggestion. "I'm  _allergic_  to cats and I  _never_ asked her to get rid of it."

"Milk's going to live with Koya-Mama," Tegoshi says. "It's not like Kei-chan's throwing her out on the street. She even said that her mom's been lonely since Nyanta died. Remember?"

Shige sighs as she begrudgingly flops on the couch next to Tegoshi. Emma's instantly in her lap, and petting her makes Shige feel a little better. "I don't know how much longer I can do this," she admits.

"Want me to take your mind off of it?" Tegoshi asks, waggling her eyebrows like she's at all sexy in an old tour T-shirt and soccer shorts. Her hair is tangled and will probably remain that way until the next time she's made up by a stylist, and she probably hasn't shaved her legs since their concerts ended.

"What are we doing?" Shige counter-asks, channeling all of her rage into something she can actually control. "Do you even like me?"

"I like the way it feels when we're together," Tegoshi answers as she leans her head on Shige's shoulder, and Shige sighs as she extends an arm to wrap around the younger idol. "Do you want me to like you? You're the one who gets annoyed with me so much."

"Because you're loud and obnoxious," Shige tells her, and Tegoshi snorts. "But you're also not one to spend time with people if it doesn't benefit you somehow. Are you just using me for sex because I'm convenient?"

"What? No." Tegoshi pulls out of Shige's embrace to frown at her. "I don't care if we have sex or not. I told you, I'm  _lonely_. And while part of it is out of convenience, it's also because I've known you for half of my life and I feel comfortable being like this with you. The women I date want too much of my time and you're not like that."

"I'm already stuck with you," Shige teases, and Tegoshi pokes her in the side. "Aren't you going to settle down and make an honest woman out of someone someday?"

"Nah," Tegoshi replies. "I'll be a free spirit even when I'm an old lady."

Shige laughs. "Somehow, I can see that."

"What about you?" Tegoshi asks. "Am I going to lose you too?"

The laughter fades. "No, you will not," Shige says firmly. "Even if I meet someone I want to spend my life with, she'll have to share me with all of you. That's non-negotiable."

"We'll probably have to stop doing this though," Tegoshi goes on, leaning forward to brush her lips along Shige's neck; Shige tilts her head the other way to give her more access. "Unless you're open to polyamory?"

"I can't even handle  _one_  girlfriend, let alone two," Shige mutters, and now Tegoshi's the one laughing. "Especially if one of them is you."

"I'll be your side piece," Tegoshi offers, interrupting Shige's protest by capturing her mouth in a kiss. "And we're not girlfriends."

"At least we agree on that."

Shige's anger restructures itself into passion, leading her to lower Tegoshi to the couch and mount her before she realizes the force of her actions. Tegoshi doesn't seem to mind at all, curling her body under Shige's while her hands sneak up Shige's shirt. The next second has Shige's bra unhooked and both breasts in Tegoshi's palms, fingers teasing her nipples into peaks while her hips grind down against Tegoshi's.

"You want something to ride?" Tegoshi whispers in her ear, shoving a fist between them to rub against. "I've got a nice dick for you."

Shige leans up enough to look down at Tegoshi, her hair falling in waves on either side of her face. "Why do I feel like this strap-on is more for you than for me?"

"Because it is," Tegoshi answers bluntly. "I like the idea of having a penis. I want to be the one to fuck someone else."

"You don't need a penis to fuck me," Shige tells her, reaching down to urge Tegoshi's hand open and point two of her fingers upwards. "I can ride you just like this, and you can use your hips to thrust up into me, feeling for yourself how much I like it instead of using some piece of silicone."

"Damn, woman," Tegoshi breathes, staring up at Shige with pink cheeks. "Are you sure you're not an erotica writer?"

"I prefer my sex to be non-fiction." Shige pulls her shirt over her head and lets the bra straps fall from her shoulders. "Now, get into my pants already."

She doesn't have to tell Tegoshi twice. Shige's naked in ten seconds, easing herself down on the fingers that start moving the instant they're inside her, and Tegoshi's the one who moans as Shige rocks her hips back and forth. Tegoshi bends her knees enough to thrust up from below, sending Shige flying forward as she's touched deeper than she's used to.

"That's it, baby, fuck me," Shige whispers, and Tegoshi seems to like that term of endearment as much as Shige does. "Why is your shirt still on?"

"Because you haven't taken it off yet," Tegoshi replies with a smirk, and Shige gets to work shoving the offending garment over her head and the arm that's not currently pistoning inside her. Tegoshi's not wearing a bra, so Shige gets to work caressing her breasts and licking the nipples.

Tegoshi arches and moans again, quickening her pace like she's getting stimulation from her fingers sliding in and out of Shige. Shige supposes the back of her hand could be rubbing against her clit, but it seems to be the motion that's doing it for her. This is by far the most turned on Shige has ever seen this one, and they used to mess around a lot when they were younger.

It makes Shige hotter, leaning up on one arm to shove another one between them to rub her own clit. Tegoshi likes that too, gasping at the way Shige's body tightens around her, and she uses her free hand to twist in Shige's thick hair.

"Sit up," Tegoshi whispers, her voice all air. "I wanna watch you touch yourself."

Shige would be embarrassed if she wasn't so fucking gone. She leans back, bracing herself with one hand on Tegoshi's thigh as she rubs the swollen bump just how she likes it. She probably looks like an AV star with her head flung back and hair flowing everywhere, but right now all she cares about is coming, her hips moving just as fast as Tegoshi's fingers.

"You want another one?" Tegoshi asks, and Shige nods without thinking. A third finger joins the others and now Shige's the one making noises, loud ones that echo in her own head as she reaches her peak.

She falls forward from the force of her orgasm, her forehead pressing into Tegoshi's shoulder as those fingers keep moving inside her. Shige doesn't stop her, rocking into the aftershocks that have her jerking on top of Tegoshi, who's kissing her face anywhere she can reach.

"I've got an idea," Shige says as she shoves her arm between them, wedging her hand underneath Tegoshi's. "Let me touch you too."

It takes some maneuvering, but Shige manages to flick Tegoshi's clit while Tegoshi keeps fingering her. Tegoshi's moans grow even louder and she starts shuddering, making Shige bounce from the force of her thrusts until she falls still and bats Shige's hand away.

"That looked intense," Shige tells her, and Tegoshi gives a short laugh.

"My wrist is  _killing_  me," Tegoshi whines, and Shige rolls her eyes.

As summer fades into autumn, Shige's drama ends and she has time to breathe again. She spends an entire week writing, barely remembering her other obligations as she gets sucked back into the fictional world she has created, and the next time she meets up with the other three members of NEWS to film  _Shoujo Club Premium_ , she's more relaxed than she's been all year.

"I have news," Koyama says as they get made up and styled for the recording. "I'm pregnant."

" _What_?!!" several people exclaim, including Tegoshi who seems to squeal louder than the rest of the staff put together.

"Congratulations," Massu adds belatedly. "Will you be moving up your wedding?"

"I'll have to," Koyama answers, her big grin barely masking the few lines of stress on her face. "A winter wedding is nice, right? Maybe we could get married on Christmas. I'll be showing by then, but it shouldn't be too uncomfortable."

Shige's unnaturally quiet, waiting until the excited chatter dies down before commenting, "I didn't know you two were even having sex."

"I didn't know I needed to tell you that," Koyama replies pointedly, and Shige realizes in that moment how much they've grown apart in these past few months. "For your information, it's always my decision. He doesn't even ask for it."

From what Shige remembers from personal experience, Suzuki probably doesn't have to ask. Koyama's a very sexual woman with no reservations about going after what she wants. As much as Shige wants to be mad that Suzuki has been inside her best friend already, even she has to admit that it would be out of character for Koyama to decide on the future father of her children without making love to him.

Just thinking the phrase "making love" has Shige wrinkling her nose, which Koyama notices and rolls her eyes at, but Shige doesn't care enough to clarify her intentions. The less she argues with Koyama, the better, especially if she's still supposed to be keeping up the act of being supportive. At this point though, Shige knows it's more about her own fear of losing Koyama than any mistreatment on Suzuki's part. If anything, Koyama's  _more_  confident and authoritative with him than she had been with Shige.

"If you don't want to do it, my sister will," Koyama tells Shige later, and it takes Shige a second to realize she's talking about planning the wedding much sooner than expected. "I don't mind having a matron of honor instead of whatever you insist on calling it."

It comes out snarky, but Shige chooses to ignore it. "Of course I'll still do it," she says firmly. "Massu's already taking care of most of it anyway, isn't she? All I have to do is make arrangements and pay deposits."

Even before Koyama was officially engaged, it had already been decided that the other three members would be in the bridal party. As the fashionista and culinary critic of the group, Massu had naturally started designing their formalwear and looking for caterers. She had also taken it upon herself to pick out decorating options and flowers. For someone who isn't keen on marriages in general, she's sure good at planning weddings.

"Don't forget the bachelorette party," Koyama adds with a saucy wink. It's the first time in months that Shige has felt like they shared a secret. "I definitely want strippers--"

"--in uniform," Shige finishes for her. "We watched those AV movies together, remember?"

"How could I forget?" Koyama laughs. "Maybe don't mention that in your speech though."

"Excuse you, I am a professional writer," Shige teases. "I'm gonna write a speech that will have your makeup running down your face from the force of your tears."

"You say that like it's hard." Koyama gives her a knowing look, and now Shige's the one who laughs. "Will you help me write my vows too?"

Shige pauses at that. "Really?"

"Yes," Koyama confirms. "I'm not as good with words as you are. And it will be like you're a part of my marriage."

Shige's heart does something that she's not sure is good or not, but she's nodding. "I will help you."

"Thanks," Koyama says, her face lighting up with her natural happiness and the added glow from being with child. "I'm so glad you're supportive of my family."

It's not like she has a choice, Shige thinks bitterly once she's alone. If she isn't supportive, she won't be in Koyama's life anymore, and that is simply not an option. She distracts herself by scrolling through Massu's endless texts of wedding plans and writing down vendors to call in the morning. They had miraculously found a venue that was free on Christmas Day, and one of their ex-members had gotten ordained for her own best friend's wedding and was ecstatic to perform the ceremony for Koyama.

"Wouldn't it be crazy if the original nine members of NEWS were all at my wedding?" Koyama muses as they put together their last single before her hiatus. "Yamapi's still in touch with Kusano, and Ryo-chan and Uchi are still attached at the hip."

"I can probably get a hold of Moriuchi," Tegoshi offers. "I don't think One OK Rock is touring this winter, so she would definitely come."

"Somehow, this feels like more of a fifteenth anniversary celebration than our concerts were," Massu comments, and the other three nod in agreement.

Shige has the same History with Nishikido Ryo that she has with Koyama, but working with Maruyama every month has kept them in favorable contact. Her smirk is comforting when they meet up for the first time in years, solely because Ryo has the best connections for Koyama's bachelorette party debauchery. It's just like old times as they scroll through websites and mock each other's tastes, finally deciding on an evening's worth of activities--including strippers in uniform--together.

"How are you holding up?" Ryo asks as they share a drink as a reward for their hard work. "I know you still have feelings for that gorgeous waif, so don't even try to pretend that you don't."

"I'm doing okay," Shige tells her honestly, glancing over to find Ryo giving her a sympathetic look over the rim of her glass. "Tegoshi and I have gotten closer."

Ryo snorts. "That was inevitable."

"What do you mean?" Shige asks curiously.

"Don't you remember?" Ryo asks a little condescendingly, and Shige frowns. "She was always attached to me, and then after I left the group, she became attached to Keiko. Now, Kei is getting married and Buta won't have anything to do with Tego if she's not getting paid for it, so that leaves you."

"When you put it like that, it sounds bad," Shige grumbles.

"As long as you know that's all it is," Ryo tells her. "Even if you don't care for romantic love yourself, you still form a connection to everyone you feel strongly about. You and Tego are alike that way. Just keep in mind that they're one-sided. They may match up right now, but that doesn't mean it's mutual."

"You're not making any sense," Shige says, her mind swirling with a combination of whiskey and Ryo's philosophical ramblings. "We are both aware that it's not anything serious."

"Okay," Ryo says slowly, using a sing-song tone that implies she doesn't believe a single word Shige is saying. "Don't forget what happened to her. It may have been over a decade ago, but she still struggles with letting people inside her--literally and figuratively. If she lets you, it's more of a big deal than whatever you think is  _not_  going on between you two."

Shige closes her eyes as she pushes down the irrational rage that resurfaces whenever she thinks about the reason why Tegoshi doesn't like to be penetrated. As women in the spotlight, they've all experienced some type of sexual assault at one point in their lives, but Tegoshi's was particularly brutal. She was still a teenager, for one thing, and it was more about "fixing" her sexuality than taking advantage of her. While rape is rape no matter the reasons behind it, Tegoshi's was traumatic for the whole agency and became the basis of Shige's activism.

Taking a deep breath, Shige wills herself to calm down because Ryo's not the one she's mad at. "I know," is all she says. "I know."

Between promoting a single and planning the wedding, Shige's just as busy as she was over the summer, but it's much easier to manage. She actually enjoys organizational tasks like seat arrangements and timing all of the vendors' arrivals so there's not mass chaos all at once, keeping in mind last-minute changes and unforeseen circumstances. It's part of what makes her a good writer, even if the hardest part has been putting together Koyama's vows.

It's not that she's at a loss for words; it's that the words that come to her have nothing to do with Suzuki and everything to do with Shige herself. Thinking about Koyama's future with someone other than Shige doesn't compute in Shige's brain, and she's about to bow out of the whole thing when Koyama gets the idea to sing one of their more romantic songs instead and Shige's off the hook.

Even the stress of late RSVPs doesn't get Shige down, because Moriuchi had finally agreed to attend as long as she could bring both of her partners. It's no surprise to anyone that Yamapi's  _married_  best friend is her plus one, because she and Akanishi have been two peas in a pod since way before Akanishi knocked up her wife. Naturally, Ryo and Uchi are coming together, so the entire original group will be in attendance, which makes Koyama even happier about her special day.

The last performance of their new single is sentimental, Koyama a blubbering mess because it will be her last job with NEWS until after her maternity leave. At her age, she's considered a high-risk pregnancy, and even though there hasn't been any complications so far, everyone agrees that it would be best if she took it easy and focused on her health. She'll make a special appearance at Julie's Countdown on New Year's Eve, but she's not allowed to dance or participate in any of the intergroup medleys after midnight.

There are already plans for Tegoshi and Massu to resurrect their side unit in the new year, and Shige's honestly grateful for a break. NEWS' comeback is already scheduled for next fall and Shige's manager has sent her options for upcoming dramas and stage plays. She's even been pricing flights to France so she can live the cliché of writing at a café. Maybe she'll buy a beret for the occasion.

A week before the wedding, Shige's in the middle of binge-watching  _Sense8_  when there's a knock at her door. She glances at her phone to see if she missed a text message about someone coming over, but there's just some last-minute freaking out from Massu and a video of Emma in an elf costume from Tegoshi.

On the other side of her door stands Koyama's future husband and the father of her child. Shige tilts her head in confusion, unsure how to proceed with this man she doesn't really know showing up unannounced.

"Please forgive my intrusion," Suzuki greets her, standing a comfortable distance away in the hallway. "I wanted to talk to you about something and Keiko wasn't comfortable giving me your phone number."

For good reason, Shige thinks, but she just nods and steps aside against her better judgment. "Please come in," she says politely, figuring that the best way to find out if Suzuki really is a bad man is to be alone with him.

She offers him a drink and he declines, suggesting that they sit at the dining room table instead of her couch. He's making a lot of effort not to invade Shige's personal space despite invading her home, though that may have a lot to do with Shige's involuntary walls going up the instant she saw his face.

"You'll understand if I record this conversation," Shige says upfront, showing the app on her phone that she's already turned on. "A girl can never be too careful."

"Of course," Suzuki replies, his eyes softening as he folds his hands at the table. "I've been wracking my brain trying to think of ways to earn your approval, and I've finally found something that I believe will get you to see me as a decent person who is worthy of your best friend's love."

Shige puts on her game face and takes her own intimidating stance like she's one of the judges on  _Shark Tank_. "I'm listening."

"Pick a cause," he tells her, and she's not following until he goes on. "It can be anything--women's rights, LGBTQ issues, someone running for office--and I'll fund it. I'll devote an entire team to it and you can be in charge of everything, or nothing if you don't want to."

"I have my own money, you know," Shige replies, ignoring the thoughts running through her brain because this offer is actually pretty awesome. "I can set up my own charitable foundations if I want to."

"But it's a conflict of interest, right?" Suzuki goes on, and Shige frowns because he's not wrong. "You already push the limits of being an activist within your contract and you've gotten in trouble before. If  _I_  do it, we can work together without anything reflecting on Julie's or NEWS. It's a win for both of us."

"I want it in writing that I get the final decision on all matters related to this cause," Shige agrees, drawing from her ancient legal studies to make sure her  _and_ Koyama's asses are covered. "And that you won't back out even if the negative backlash affects your firm's business.  _And_  that Keiko is absolved from any involvement despite your marriage."

"You got it," Suzuki says. "You will be like a silent partner, only without the financial contributions. I don't want a single yen from you, understand? Just your brain and your passion for social justice. We're on the same side, Kato-san. I want to prove it to you."

"I'll give you that chance," Shige tells him. "Let me think about which one of the horrors of the world I want to focus on. We'll meet again after the new year when I'm not as busy."

Suzuki accepts that and takes his leave, dismissing Shige's offer to show him to the door. She hears the lock automatically set behind him and shuts off the recording on her phone, replaying their conversation one full time before erasing the file. She doesn't need to hold onto it.

Instead, she writes her person of honor speech, because now her words will be honest and heartfelt instead of forced. Even Massu had admitted that she was too quick to judge Koyama's fiancé as just another straight man who thinks he has a right to a woman's body, which had Shige realizing why she had jumped to her own conclusions about the person who was inadvertently taking her best friend and first love away from her.

She'll never in a million years tell Tegoshi that she was right, even if Tegoshi seems to already know it when they're putting the finishing touches on Koyama's bachelorette party and Shige's telling her (and indirectly Ryo) about Suzuki's business offer. To say that Tegoshi's actually helping is high praise considering she's been sitting on Shige's couch and watching Shige and Ryo do all the work decorating the apartment.

Massu shows up with the three remaining members of KAT-TUN, who carry in bags of penis party favors that Ueda probably already owned for her own personal use. Half of Kanjuli8 arrive in costume, ready to put on their own performance for Koyama to give her an equal opportunity lapdance along with the male strippers Ryo had on good authority were BL-friendly.

Yamapi's late as usual, accompanied by Akanishi, her wife Meisa, and Meisa's mistress Maki. Shige's living room is getting rather crowded, but she has plenty of chairs and food for everyone. KAT-TUN's former Ts couldn't make it, and Shige's secretly glad because those two get wild when they're together. The kind of wild that trashes Shige's home and gets the police called.

Tegoshi and Uchi had been given the task of "kidnapping" Koyama, which consisted of making her up to be even more glamorous than she already is and blindfolding her before parading her to Shige's apartment. Shige's more surprised to see Tegoshi in a dress than the other two, perfectly winged eyeliner and hot pink lips making her look more like a drag queen than a cisgendered woman in traditionally feminine clothes.

"They're called boobs," Tegoshi greets her, smirking as she lifts Shige's chin from where she'd been staring in disbelief at Tegoshi's low neckline. "And you had them in your mouth three days ago."

"Is this all for Koyama?" Shige asks, too bewildered to deny the hope that it's actually for  _her_.

"I can be a fucking lady when I want to," Tegoshi answers evasively, winking one blue eye before disappearing in a cloud of perfume that leaves Shige feeling drugged.

It's a good thing Ryo and Massu take charge of the festivities, because Shige's positively useless after a few drinks in a room full of attractive women, one in particular. It's a step up from the melancholy feeling she had expected celebrating Koyama's last few days as an unmarried woman, even if there's still a lingering stab of pain in her heart every time she sees the diamond on Koyama's ring finger.

"It's okay to love more than one person, you know," a familiar voice says in its usual careless tone. Yamashita "Yamapi" Tomono has always been unintentionally perceptive, staring off into space while spouting wisdom coincidentally relevant to situations she knows nothing about.

It feels like a lifetime ago that they were in the same idol group with Yamapi as their leader, easily taming the strong personalities of the other eight members, then seven, then five, until she too was gone and Koyama took over the last three standing. Even still, Yamapi exudes dominance now just like she had then, and Shige's instinct is to listen to her guidance, believing with her whole being that Yamapi's word is the gospel just like it had been when Shige was an impressionable teenager.

In a way, despite both of them being in their thirties now, Shige still admires the other woman, looking up to her as an example of how an idol should be and using her as a basis around which to form her own behavior. Yamapi's not nearly as outspoken as Shige is about, well, anything, but she makes statements with her actions such as attending meaningful functions and doing whatever she's doing with Akanishi and her crew.

"Monogamy is only a legal binding," Yamapi goes on, then pats Shige's up-do before walking over to perform a complicated handshake with Kamenashi Kazue from their  _Shunyo to Akira_  days.

Shige's not really one for parties, busying herself by cleaning up and mixing drinks while Koyama has the time of her life. Yasuda, Maruyama, and Ohkura end up dancing  _with_  the male strippers who arrive, along with each other, satisfying most of the sexualities in attendance along with Koyama's. 

"Did you host this party just so you could hide out in your room?" Massu asks knowingly when she finds Shige curled up on her bed, deep in thought about Yamapi's words and what they mean for her and Tegoshi.

"How do you know when you feel romantic love?" Shige counter-asks, looking up at Massu's face framed by her straight teal hair.

Massu blinks and takes a seat on Shige's bed, smoothing out her long, flowy skirt before answering. "I just know," she finally says, scoffing at Shige's frown. "Like I know anything about that! I don't have a chance to fall in love before they guilt me about not wanting to have sex."

"I don't think I've felt it, not even with Koyama," Shige admits, staring down at her freshly manicured hands. "I love her platonically, which is why I'm so protective of her, but I don't think I was ever  _in_  love with her. Not romantically. I could see us having a future together, but it was more like glorified best friends who are attracted to each other. That's all I've ever known this kind of love to be."

"What about Tegoshi?" Massu asks knowingly. "How do you feel about her?"

Shige closes her eyes as she pushes down the defense mechanisms that want to deny that she feels anything at all toward Tegoshi. She doesn't have to pretend around this one. "It's similar," she finally says. "It's not as strong, but there's something there. I definitely want her, I'm just not exactly sure how."

"I think it's okay not to be sure," Massu tells her, offering a bright smile. "Tegoshi's very upfront about her feelings. She's not the type to keep spending time with you if it doesn't feel good. As long as you both want to be with each other, that's enough for her. You just have to be certain that it's enough for you too."

Shige nods, then gives Massu a skeptical look. "Don't you have some kind of historical rivalry with Tegoshi that prohibits you from speaking favorably about her?"

Massu laughs out loud. "Part of our dynamic is that she's too much for me, but that just means that it benefits me to have her more focused on you. Since she and I will be working closely together for most of next year, it is in  _all_  of our best interests that you continue doing whatever you're doing with her that I do not want details about."

"Okay," Shige says. She doesn't know what she's agreeing to, but Massu doesn't seem to be holding her to any kind of executive decision. "I'll come back out in a bit. I just needed a break from all the shrieking and touching."

"Do you want me to send Tegoshi in here?" Massu asks. "I have to admit, she's killing it tonight. I had a half a second of attraction before I realized it was  _her_ , and if you ever tell her that I will deny it."

Shige grins. "No. I don't want to get into anything with her tonight. This is Koyama's night."

Massu nods and returns to the party, where Shige follows a couple minutes later. Ryo gives her a questioning look, clearly noticing her absence, but Koyama's too distracted by the continued stripteases (now all female and unpaid) to pay attention to anything other than her immediate surroundings. She does scream out Shige's name when she sees her, but it's purely to get her a private dance.

While Shige's not opposed to having women covered in glitter shake their tassled breasts in her face, she's probably going to have a difficult time looking Maruyama in the eye the next time they write their column together.

They had purposely scheduled the bachelorette party two days before the wedding in anticipation of most of the bridal party (and their officiator) being hungover, and it's Shige's best decision to date. She wakes up with both Koyama and Tegoshi in her bed, Ryo and Uchi passed on the couch, and Massu already awake and cleaning up. Shige manages to detach herself from two sets of arms and stumbles into the kitchen, where Massu hands her a steaming cup of black coffee and some ibuprofen.

"I love you," Shige says seriously, forcing one open eye to focus on Massu, and Massu's laugh hurts her brain.

"No romo," Massu replies, and Shige snorts into her coffee.

Koyama's the one who throws up the minute she's conscious, Shige holding her hair back and rubbing her shoulder blades. Morning sickness seems a lot like hangover sickness, which is ironic as Koyama was the only one  _not_  drinking last night. She's just starting to show, her thin frame interrupted by a pooch under her stomach that she proudly displays, on which Shige joins Koyama's hand now for added comfort.

"Do you want me to call Suzuki-kun to pick you up?" Shige asks, and Koyama nods.

"I'll take her home," Tegoshi offers, emerging from Shige's room looking like she'd just crawled out of a dumpster. Her hair is plastered on one side of her head, her makeup smeared and dress wrinkled. "I have to feed Emma anyway."

"Thanks for my party," Koyama starts, trying to be polite even as she's turning green, and Shige shakes her head as she rushes them out the door, hoping her neighbors aren't awake to see them do the walk of shame in broad daylight.

Tegoshi grabs one of the party favor bags on her way out, probably for Koyama to throw up in instead of her car, and she pauses briefly in front of Shige with an expression that Shige can't read. Then Tegoshi leans forward to kiss her, a simple brush of lips that leaves Shige tingling despite the massacre of makeup remains on Tegoshi's face.

"See you at the rehearsal tonight," Tegoshi says, flashing a smile before Koyama groans from the hallway and Tegoshi rushes to tend to her.

"What the fuck was that?" Ryo demands before the door is even closed, still tangled up with Uchi on the couch with her eyes barely open.

"I don't know," Shige answers, bringing her face to her hands in an effort to ignore such an extreme physical reaction to such a small kiss. "I'll worry about it after the wedding."

Ryo looks like she doesn't believe that one bit, but all she does is offer to help clean and fries up an amazing breakfast that soaks up most of the alcohol in Shige's system. Then Uchi whines about needing a shower with her own toiletries and Ryo jokes about taking the  _princess_  home, leaving Massu and Shige to coordinate the final twenty-four hours before the wedding. Once they're confident that everything is as ready as it can be, Massu heads out and Shige goes right back to sleep, ignoring the thoughts in her head for a little while longer.

The rehearsal dinner goes well, though Koyama's in danger of crying too hard to properly sing her vows. It's like when Nyanta passed and Koyama dedicated her next solo to him, sobbing through the next three songs because she was so emotional. She likes to say that she's so full of love that it leaks out of her eyes, though that doesn't fare well for her makeup. Even the most waterproof mascara eventually gives in under the rivers of Koyama's "love."

Inevitably, they decide that it would be better for Koyama to sing as she's walked down the aisle by her mother. The only difference is that Massu would start the wedding seated at the keyboard instead of standing next to Shige and Tegoshi, upsetting the balance of groomsmen escorting brideswomen.

"How about having the groomsmen already up here with Suzuki-kun?" Yamapi suggests from where she's already standing at the alter, facing the rows of the small venue. "Shige and Tegoshi can walk down the aisle alone, or together."

"Together would be less confusing, I think," Koyama's mother speaks up.

"This way you won't have to be escorted by a man," Koyama teases Shige, who shrugs.

"I'll gladly escort Shige down the aisle," Tegoshi says with an eyebrow waggle, and Shige feels warm despite the cold winter air.

They rehearse the whole ceremony, pausing to tweak a few things until both Koyama and Shige are satisfied that everything will be perfect tomorrow. In the effort to keep the groom from seeing the bride before the wedding, Koyama sleeps over at Shige's again, though this time it's just the two of them in the peaceful, sober silence.

"I feel like everything's going to be different after tomorrow," Shige thinks out loud, letting her guard down around Koyama for the first time since Koyama had started dating again.

"Of course it will be," Koyama replies, turning onto her side to face Shige as they lie on Shige's bed. "I'll be married. I'm already pregnant. Next summer, I'll have a baby. The only thing that  _won't_  change is you being there for all of it."

"But you will have a husband--"

"In addition to a Shige," Koyama cuts her off. "Do you think you're getting out of taking care of me just because I'm married? Hiro-kun will still be working up until the baby is born. There's no reason for him to stay home unless I am put on bedrest. Even then, I'd rather have you there anyway."

"I will be," Shige assures her, nodding so hard that her hair flies into her face. "Whenever you need me, I'll be there."

"Everything may be different, but our friendship can adapt," Koyama says firmly, reaching out to lace her fingers through Shige's, carefully since they both already have their wedding nail art. "We've been through so much already, and we've evolved stronger every time. After tomorrow, even after the baby comes, it won't be our final form."

Shige laughs. "Are we Pokémon?"

"Shut up." Koyama tries to pout, but ends up laughing too. "What I'm saying is that you're a constant in my life no matter what happens. It's true that I'm getting married tomorrow, and my husband and child will become a large part of my life, but that doesn't mean that you're any less important to me. I have more than enough room in my heart for all of you. You have to believe that."

"I definitely do," Shige says, so filled with relief and happiness that she can't stop from smiling. "I think I just needed to hear you say it."

"I forget how insecure you get sometimes," Koyama says apologetically. "You hide it so well under that tough bitch exterior."

Shige rolls her eyes. "Just promise me if he ever makes you uncomfortable, you'll leave him."

"He won't," Koyama tries, then sighs under Shige's knowing look. "But if he does, I won't hesitate to tell him and make sure it doesn't happen again."

"I'll accept that," Shige says, and Koyama's smile brightens up her life.

The wedding is beautiful. The decorations are Christmassy, but the bridal party is dressed in gradient versions of NEWS' member colors. Koyama's gown is lavender to match Suzuki-kun's deep purple suit, his brothers and best friend all wearing darker versions of green, yellow, and pink even though they didn't end up escorting their pastel counterparts.

The pictures will look symmetrical at least, though all thoughts of color coordination fly out of Shige's head when she sees Tegoshi amidst the chaos in the bride's quarters. In true Tegoshi fashion, she had changed her attire at the last minute, but that was low on Koyama's list of things to stress about since it was still light pink. Instead of a dress, Tegoshi had managed to obtain a suit and tie, perfectly fitted to her small body with the blazer stopping just above the curve of her ass, which fills out the dress pants along with her muscular thighs.

"I feel like I should call you a hypocrite with how you've been objectifying me lately," Tegoshi says seriously as she physically forces Shige's eyes up to her face again. "Although it's comforting to know that you're attracted to me no matter whether I'm masculine or feminine."

Her makeup is more subtle today, but it's still more than Shige's used to seeing on her face. The blue contacts are gone (hopefully for good), leaving soft brown eyes to match the newly dyed light brown hair. She's still wearing a ponytail, but it's tied with a fancy pink ribbon.

"I don't know how I feel about you," Shige says honestly, so overloaded from her emotional reunion with Koyama and the stress of the wedding and Tegoshi in that goddamn  _suit_  that she's ready to burst into tears herself. "I just feel it."

She doesn't expect to be embraced by Tegoshi, the faint scent of her shampoo adding to Shige's sensual stimulation while the pressure calms her. Shige squeezes her back, burrowing her face into Tegoshi's neck as much as she dares because she does  _not_  want to have her makeup done again, and when Tegoshi finally lets her go, she feels kilos lighter.

"You look beautiful, Shigemi," is all Tegoshi says, holding out both of her arms to take in the entire dress. It's a simple pale green gown, strapless with a floofy skirt just like Massu's yellow one (complete with bronze hair), but Tegoshi's looking at her like it's the most elegant thing she's ever seen.

"You're not so bad yourself," Shige replies, lifting a hand to adjust Tegoshi's tie, the silk material caressing her back as Tegoshi's eyes darken. "I definitely have plans for this later."

"There is no way you would tie me up," Tegoshi calls her bluff. "You like me touching you too much."

"Who said it would be around your wrists?" Shige asks casually. "Maybe it's a blindfold. For  _me_."

Tegoshi licks her lips and wrinkles her nose at the taste of lipstick, effectively ruining the moment. "Ugh. I can't wait to get this shit off my face."

"You and me both," Shige agrees, noticing how the hoards of women are starting to leave the room. "Looks like it's time to give our Koyama away."

"She won't be Koyama for too much longer," Tegoshi points out. "Just because she's keeping her maiden name for the fans doesn't mean we should keep using it to address her in private."

Shige sighs. "It doesn't feel right to use her given name with other people. And I refuse to use her husband's name."

"Come on, pretty Shige," Tegoshi says eagerly, holding out her arm to escort Shige. "Let's go give our  _leader_  away."

That's acceptable, Shige thinks as she puts on her idol face and joins the rest of the bridal party in the back of the venue. They're the first ones to walk down the aisle, some whispers and coos at Tegoshi's genderbent formalwear, and Shige almost trips on the last step to the alter, gracefully held upright by Tegoshi with a sympathetic look from Yamapi in her rose-tinted gown.

Koyama's niece is behind them, scattering flower petals all over the aisle, and then soft chords sound from the keyboard, followed by Koyama's mother guiding her youngest daughter whose hands are shaking as she holds her microphone. But her voice is strong even as tears stream her face, belting out an acoustic solo version of their song  _Forever_  that pauses while KoyaMama lifts the veil and continues once Koyama trips up the alter and has been helped up by three people.

The ceremony is a mixture of laughter and crying, Yamapi doing what she does best and entertaining a crowd while talking about the sanctity of marriage. It's different to everyone, she explains, and what is considered sanctimonious to one person may not be the same to another. What's important is that the people involved believe the same thing, and the elements of matrimony are met--supporting each other, no matter what, until death do they part.

Suzuki says his vows next, spouting off some lines that Shige could swear she's heard in a drama before. She thinks it's generic and lame, which just means Koyama loves it and cries so hard that she can barely get the ring on his finger.

All too soon, it's over, and Suzuki ends up carrying Koyama down the aisle, more due to her inability to walk in a straight line than anything romantic. Not to be outdone, Massu picks up Tegoshi the same way and there's a ripple of laughter at what is undoubtedly the beginning of their Tegomasu promotions. Shige simply escorts the three abandoned groomsmen like they're her entourage and feels like the queen of her kingdom for the length of the aisle.

The reception is in a hotel convention center a few blocks away, though all four members of NEWS retreat to one of the reserved rooms to change out of their wedding garb. It's so reminiscent of a concert encore that Shige half-expects to walk out singing the chorus to  _Weeeek_  and throw signed balls at the other guests.

"I'm married!" Koyama squeals as she shimmies into a less extensive dress, flashing the ostentatious wedding band that joined her engagement ring.

Massu and Tegoshi cheer with her while Shige just smiles fondly and focuses on scrubbing the makeup off of her face. She's compromising with the dress code in an alpaca-hair sweater dress and leggings, which is still more feminine than Tegoshi's casual pantsuit and button-down shirt that shows enough cleavage to be sufficiently distracting.

"No tie," Shige teases her, faking a pout that turns into a gasp when Tegoshi points to her head. She'd managed to wrap her hair up with a colorful silk scarf, and Shige's skin tingles at the thought of feeling that around her eyes.

"I'll do your kink if you do mine," Tegoshi says softly, looking like she's negotiating a business deal instead of sex. "I'll use a little dildo on the strap-on so it's not too much for you."

"I'll think about it," Shige says airily, but her body is already reacting to being sight-deprived  _and_  penetrated by this woman who has so stealthily captivated her in the last half of this year.

Yamapi's deejaying the reception too, her usually calm voice breaking up when she announces Koyama and Suzuki as wife and husband for the first time. An old love song plays and they dance, then the food is served and Shige's momentarily amused by Massu micromanaging the catering staff.

"Shige, focus," Tegoshi says gently, coaxing Shige's attention away from all the things happening in the background. "Let the staff take care of that, just like when we have concerts. You need to put all of your effort into your speech now."

Shige nods, takes a deep breath, and heads up to the front of the hall with her glass of liquid courage. Yamapi hands her the microphone with a big grin and Shige's throat-clearing is amplified, earning a few laughs and a lot of expectant eyes.

"I've known Koyama Keiko since I was thirteen years old," Shige starts, glancing over to Koyama who's already clutching her heart with a fresh wave of tears. "We've been through hell and back together, and it's not over yet. We have loads of hurdles ahead of us, in our careers as well as simply being women in a man's world, but this marriage is not one of them. Up until yesterday, I thought I had to figure out a way to let you go, but it turns out that I don't have to. You're not going anywhere."

Suzuki's the one who smiles at her, holding Koyama's hand as she nods and cries harder, her sudden "I love you, Shige!" getting a few laughs.

"I love you too," Shige replies into the microphone. "I've loved you for what feels like my whole life, and for the longest time I thought that was it. You were the one for me, and I'd never feel for anyone else the way I feel about you. But there are many different types of love that can be applied to any number of people at any given time, and they can all exist alongside each other. The way I love you allows for you to love him, and for me to love whomever is worthy of it, because our hearts are connected in a way that transcends romantic love."

Koyama nods harder, and Shige can tell she's struggling not to bury her face into her new husband's shoulder so she can keep looking at Shige.

"Suzuki-kun," Shige changes tactics, her voice hardening as she turns toward the man next to Koyama, which also earns some laughs. "As you can see, this amazing woman you married is very sensitive." More laughter. "I trust you to take care of her from this moment forward, to listen to her when she speaks, to continue to recognize that she is her own person and her feelings are valid. Also, you'll need to do all of the cooking, because she's a fire hazard in the kitchen."

Everyone laughs at that, including Shige as she stalls with a deep breath to gather herself. When she looks over at Koyama again, the other woman is positively  _beaming_ , her elation shining on her face through her tears, and Shige finds herself sniffling despite all of her efforts to keep it together.

"All Koyama Keiko has ever wanted is a fairytale romance, complete with a happy ending," Shige goes on. "However, I don't believe in happy endings, because this kind of happiness isn't something that ends. She's going to be happy tomorrow, and the day after that, and twenty years from now. At least, she better be, or Suzuki-kun will have to answer to me."

"I'll do my best!" Suzuki calls out, followed by more laughter.

"To the happy couple!" Shige toasts, and everyone raises their glasses. "May you be even stronger together than you were apart. Kanpai!"

Applause roars in Shige's ears as she hands the microphone over to the best man, who drones on about some crazy story from their youth that Shige doesn't care about because she's crying into the closest pair of arms. The size of her boobs say that it's Yamapi, coupled by the way Yamapi pets her hair like she did when they were young and Shige was hysterical from pulling all-nighters.

"I'm proud of you, Shigemi," she says. "It takes a lot of courage to open your heart like that, and in front of so many people. You've been brave since we were kids, but sometimes it takes more strength to be vulnerable. Take your own advice, okay? Find what makes you happy, and don't  _ever_  let go."

Shige's nodding as she pulls back, staring at the ceiling in an attempt to stop crying. Yamapi swipes at her face at an effort to make her look presentable and eventually gives a thumbs-up of approval, then apologetically kicks Shige out of her booth since the best man is wrapping up his speech and she needs to get to work.

The next pair of boobs that are squished against her chest belong to Massu, who crushes all of Shige's apprehensions away with one of her epic hugs. When she finally gets go, Shige gives her a questioning look, and Massu just shrugs and says, "You cry, I hug. It's the only way I know how to comfort people."

The music starts and Shige's not ready to face Koyama's emotions yet, seeking refuge in the bathroom for a few more moments of reprieve before she's a sobbing mess again.

"You know it's pointless to hide in here when we're all women, right?" Tegoshi asks from the doorway, folding her arms in amusement.

"I just need a minute," Shige chokes out, and Tegoshi's face falls in the mirror. The next thing she knows, Tegoshi's arms are around her from behind, face pressed into Shige's hair that has enough hairspray to stay set for days.

"Please let me wash your hair when this is over," Tegoshi mutters, and Shige laughs as she agrees.

The instant she emerges from the bathroom, Shige's whisked away by an already drunk Kusano to dance to an old pop song that was their jam back when they were kids. Kusano's just as insane at thirty as she was at fifteen, and just as promiscuous judging by the way she ditches Shige for one of the groomsmen before the song's even over.

She's not the only one. Shige's jaw drops when she sees Massu slow-dancing with the Suzuki brother who had been paired with Tegoshi, still in his pink tuxedo which ironically matches one of Massu's self-designed layers.

"Relax, he's trans," Koyama hisses, appearing out of nowhere just when Shige's feathers were starting to ruffle. "He has too much body dysphoria to enjoy sex, so they're perfect for each other."

"Don't just out people like that," Shige scolds, but she's smiling.

"I had to, or you'd instantly hate him," Koyama says knowingly, and she's not wrong. "Come on, dance with me."

"What?" Shige squeaks out as Koyama wraps her arms around Shige's neck. "Isn't it a little rude to dance with your ex at your wedding?"

"Please," Koyama scoffs. "I've never even looked at you as an ex. You've always just been my best friend with optional benefits."

Shige thinks about being offended, but her grin decides that for her. "You're ridiculous."

"The daddy/daughter dance is a tradition at weddings, you know," Koyama says. "Since my piece of shit father wasn't invited, you're the next best thing."

"If you start calling me Daddy, I'm quitting NEWS," Shige threatens as she settles her hands at Koyama's waist.

"I'll leave that to Tego," Koyama says with a wink. "Looks like we all got our happy endings, didn't we?"

"I told you," Shige says, ignoring the implication. "There's no such thing as happy endings. There's only happy presents."

"Sounds like the title of our next single," Koyama says, and Shige laughs.

"Don't give Julie any ideas!"

They show off with practiced ballroom moves from their junior days that earn them applause at the end, when Shige dips Koyama almost to the floor and Koyama flails like Shige would actually drop her. Shige's so grateful that they're not having a tearful moment in front of all of their friends and family that she lets it slide, intruding on Ryo and Uchi's dirty dancing just to be a dick.

"Something you want to tell me about you and Ryo-chan?" Tegoshi teases the next time they run into each other. "I might be open to a threesome. I bet she'd let me fuck her into the mattress."

Shige makes a face and takes another swig of her drink to chase away that awful thought. "Been there, done that, got the unpleasant memories."

"They're not  _that_  unpleasant," Tegoshi says smugly, and Shige gasps.

"You slut," she teases.

"If the stiletto fits," Tegoshi says with a shrug. "You'll be hard-pressed to find someone in our agency that I haven't been with. I've even made out with Massu. Is that something that bothers you?"

"No," Shige answers honestly. "Though now I'm thinking we should have used dental dams."

"I'm clean," Tegoshi huffs indignantly, pinching Shige's waist as she lures the other woman into a lazy swaying dance. "And truth be told, it's been a while since I was with anyone other than you, so maybe I'm settling down in my old age."

Shige scoffs, easily sliding her arms around Tegoshi's neck and moving with her. "More like you don't want to make the effort to actually go out and get laid."

"Listen to what I'm saying, Kato Shigemi," Tegoshi says in a condescending tone, and Shige's narrowing her eyes until she hears Tegoshi's next words. "I only want to be with you."

Shige pauses as her face relaxes and every nerve in her body seems to tense at once. "Really?"

"Really." Tegoshi rakes her nails up Shige's arms to squeeze her hands, and it feels way too intimate for a public venue. "I'm not trying to girlfriend you, and I know that you need your alone time. I need mine too. I just want us to be  _something_ , whatever you want to call it, because your speech made me realize that I do love you, in my own way, and I really like how it feels when we're together."

"So do I," Shige admits. "I just need to be certain that I'm not just relying on you to get over Koyama."

"What is there to get over?" Tegoshi asks. "Like you said, she's not going anywhere. Your love for her is different than anything you could ever feel toward me, and that's okay. They can coexist together. We are already existing together."

Shige nods. "I must be drunk, because you're making sense."

Tegoshi laughs. "Don't get too shit-faced, pretty Shige. I need you coherent enough to consent to sex tonight."

"How long do you think we have to stay here anyway?" Shige asks, and her timing doesn't go unnoticed.

They make it another couple songs before Tegoshi kisses her in front of everyone and Shige probably makes the biggest spectacle by dragging her by her wrist out of the convention hall. Koyama and Massu will forgive her, though she might have some explaining to do to her parents. She'll worry about that later, when she's not in an elevator cursing Koyama's stupid rich husband for reserving suites on the highest floor.

"I know you probably want to have sex, but I really need to wash your hair first," Tegoshi says as they walk into the room, then gasps in surprise at the jacuzzi tub that's right next to the bed. "Or we can do both at once."

Shige laughs as she unfastens the belt on her dress. "Are you in a rush?"

"No," Tegoshi answers, shrugging off her blazer and starting in on her shirt. "Not at all."

"Let me get that," Shige says, batting Tegoshi's hands away to unbutton the shirt herself. There's something incredibly sexy about undressing someone this way, which Tegoshi seems to agree with judging by the way her breath hitches.

Once all the buttons are undone, Shige pushes the garment off of Tegoshi's shoulders to expose a simple flesh-colored bra. Shige leans forward to press her lips to Tegoshi's collarbone, nails trailing along the bust line until she reaches the hooks in the back and deftly unfastens them. The bra isn't even all the way off before Shige's got both of Tegoshi's breasts in her hands, gently caressing them and rubbing the nipples that harden under her touch.

"Shige," Tegoshi gasps. "We should turn the water on."

Abruptly, Shige stops, pleased with the whine that Tegoshi emits from the lack of contact and the cool air on her bare chest. Shige leans down to examine the taps of the jacuzzi tub, quickly figuring out how to turn it on, and they both watch as the tub starts to fill and bubble from the jets.

"Have you ever gotten off on one of those jets?" Tegoshi asks suddenly, and Shige's eyes widen as she realizes what that means. "It's  _amazing_."

Shige turns to look at her in disbelief, but Tegoshi's stepping out of her pants and the sight of her in boyshorts makes all other thoughts fly out of her head. Shige pulls off her sweater dress and pushes down the leggings, nearly falling into the tub when she loses her balance, but Tegoshi grabs her and pulls her close.

"Can I wear the strap-on in the tub?" Tegoshi asks, brushing their lips together in a pseudo kiss. "I won't use it until you ask for it, I promise. I just like how it feels to wear it."

"Yeah, okay," Shige agrees, and Tegoshi practically dives across the bed for her overnight bag. Shige watches curiously as Tegoshi pulls out a complicated looking contraption that she easily sets up, the dildo more of a slim G-spot stimulator than a replica of an actual penis.

It's strangely thoughtful, and Shige smiles as she finishes taking off her clothes and retrieves the complimentary shampoo, conditioner, and shower gel. Watching Tegoshi fasten the strap-on between her legs feels kind of invasive, so Shige gives her her privacy and lowers herself into the tub, shutting the taps before Tegoshi's added mass sends the water overflowing onto the floor.

She entertains herself by dipping her whole head underwater, flattening her hair that has been fluffy all night, and when she emerges again, Tegoshi has joined her. Her hair is wet too, making her eyes look more expressive as she immediately grabs for the shampoo bottle and lathers up Shige's head.

"You know this means you're going to have to brush out all the tangles," Shige informs her in the middle of a scalp massage.

"That's fine with me," Tegoshi tells her. "I may even French braid it."

"I was always the one doing your hair before concerts," Shige remembers fondly. "I usually spent more time detangling it than actually styling it."

"Time for me to return the favor," Tegoshi says sweetly, then dunks Shige's head under the water. When Shige resurfaces, Tegoshi adds, "It's a testament to how much I like you that I'm making this kind of effort."

"You just don't like the smell of hairspray," Shige says as she spits out water.

"I could have made you wash it yourself," Tegoshi points out, and Shige sees it fit not to argue as Tegoshi applies the conditioner and those fingers are scrubbing at her scalp again.

This time, Shige expects it when Tegoshi shoves her underwater, though she winces at more than water in her eyes. "You know this is defeating the purpose, right? You can't rinse my hair in the same water that the shampoo and conditioner wash out in."

"It's better than it was," Tegoshi says stubbornly, and Shige yelps as she's relocated to Tegoshi's lap. Something hard bumps against her mound and her eyes widen, but Tegoshi's quick to relax her with a kiss. "It's not going anywhere until you say."

Shige nods and focuses on kissing Tegoshi again. Tegoshi licks inside her mouth and things get really hot really fast, her body well aware of its nudity and close proximity to another. Tegoshi's hands don't stay still for very long, sliding up Shige's chest to palm her breasts before dropping one between her legs to circle her clit.

"Do you want me to...touch it like it's a part of you?" Shige asks slowly, and Tegoshi nods. Tentatively, Shige reaches down to drag her fingers along the silicone and pauses at the gasp she gets in return. "Can you feel that?"

"Sort of," Tegoshi answers. "The harness rubs against my clit, so any pressure you give it feels good. It's got a little pocket for a vibrating bullet, but it'll be over way too soon if I do that."

Shige gives the dildo a test jerk and revels in the way Tegoshi arches before her eyes. "So, if I were to ride this thing right now, it would stimulate you enough to feel like you were actually fucking me?"

"That's the idea, yeah." Tegoshi lowers her fingers to push inside Shige, grinning when she moans and rocks down against them. "It's hard to explain. Logically, I know it's not me inside you, but I can suspend my disbelief enough to believe that it is."

"You can use it," Shige decides, growing more open to the idea the more Tegoshi's fingers move inside her. "Just, let me control where it goes at first, okay?"

"Anything you want," Tegoshi says, exhaling harshly as Shige leans up to straddle her waist with a purpose. "I'm so happy you're even trying this."

"Yeah, well, I might not like it." Shige bites her lip as she starts to sink down onto the toy, the thick bulb followed by a thin shaft. It's bent to hit all the good spots, which Shige discovers in the first few undulations as her breath hitches and she grabs onto Tegoshi's shoulders for balance.

"You look so fucking good like this," Tegoshi practically growls, leaning forward to close her mouth over a nipple as Shige throws her head back and really starts to move. "That's it, baby. Ride my dick."

It feels so weird to hear that in a female voice, but Shige can't deny that it makes her hotter as she fucks herself on the toy, chasing her first orgasm. Tegoshi gives a single thrust from below and Shige cries out as she gets close, but not close enough. "Do that again," she demands. "Harder."

"Mm, gladly," Tegoshi replies, thrusting so sharply that they upset the water, but Shige doesn't care much about water on the floor right now. She's already so high from the sexual stimulation, but there's also an emotional element sneaking its way in as Tegoshi really gets into it. Shige has never once imagined that any of her partners had a penis, but right now she feels like Tegoshi does and it's so surreal to be pleased like this.

"Do you want..." Tegoshi starts, gasping as Shige grinds down especially hard. "Do you want to try out the jets?"

Shige slows down and pushes her wet hair out of her face. "How would we even do that?"

"Me behind you," Tegoshi gets out. "I'll turn the dildo upside-down so it'll still touch you in the right places."

This morning, Shige would have laughed at the thought of Tegoshi fucking her doggy-style over the edge of a jacuzzi tub while she used the jets as a vibrator, but now she's nodding her head and reluctantly lifting herself from Tegoshi's silicone dick. It's a good thing they're in water, because Shige has lost all concept of direction and ends up floating across the tub, quickly pulled back and repositioned by Tegoshi.

"Maybe it'll be easier if you don't look," Tegoshi whispers in her ear, and Shige's whole body jerks when the colorful scarf from earlier is wrapped around her eyes. "Spread your legs a little wider."

Shige feels the side of the tub against her kneecaps as she follows orders, her arms urged down to the tile floor that's only a little wet from their splashes. Her skin breaks out in goosebumps from the cold, but Tegoshi's body is warm as she covers the length of Shige's spine, the toy gently sliding back where it was.

"I don't feel any--" Shige starts, then Tegoshi pushes down on her thighs and she's cut off by a continuous burst of water on her clit, enough to stimulate her faster than any finger or tongue. "Oh, oh shit.  _Tego_."

"Call me Yuuko when I'm inside you," Tegoshi breathes into her ear, one arm looped around Shige's shoulder while the other holds Shige's lower half in place, keeping her from squirming as the pressure accumulates. "You gonna come for me?"

"Uh-huh," Shige answers, her body torn between arching and hanging her head as her thighs start to shake. "I'm gonna come.  _Yuuko_."

An orgasm like no other washes over her, leaving her vaguely aware of Tegoshi pulling out and moving her away from the jets. Her legs are stretched out as her body returns underwater, every inch of skin buzzing from everywhere they make contact. Tegoshi traces the swell of her breast and she moans out loud, clinging to the other woman for more than just balance.

"Isn't it so much better this way?" Tegoshi asks, her breath tickling Shige's damp neck, and Shige's shiver ignites her aftershocks. "Are you still coming?"

"It's the blindfold," Shige says, moaning again when Tegoshi's next touch is a tongue to her nipple. "I can't see you, so I don't know when and where you're going to touch me. It feels better when it's unexpected."

"I see."

Tegoshi's warmth disappears completely, and Shige whines until she feels her legs gently spread. "Te--Yuuko!"

An amused hum vibrates her clit along with Tegoshi's tongue, leaving Shige to flail around for something to hold onto to stay afloat. She gets a decent grip on the edge of the tub, then cries out into the otherwise silent room as Tegoshi licks her to another orgasm, the familiar fingers making their way inside her and pushing her over the edge again.

"I could get you off all day," Tegoshi says as she pulls Shige back toward her, kissing up her chest and around her breasts. "Just to watch you come over and over for me."

"Don't you want to come?" Shige asks breathlessly, blindly feeling her way down Tegoshi's chest and between her legs. Her hand is blocked by the harness, and she frowns. "Take it off."

Tegoshi rushes to comply, accompanied by splashing noises that continue as Shige spreads her open and flicks her clit. By now, Shige is well versed in how Tegoshi likes to be touched, and she doesn't need to see to know that Tegoshi's eyes are rolling into the back of her head, the blush of her face spreading down to her chest. Her soft noises gradually get louder and Shige's so focused that she jumps when Tegoshi's lips brush her neck, kissing up to her ear and few things are as beautiful as Tegoshi's orgasm cry tickling her ear canal.

"Let's get out," Tegoshi says, gasping for air, and she halts Shige when the latter reaches up to remove the blindfold. "No. Leave it on."

Shige makes a pleased noise as she's guided out of the tub and dried off, then led to the soft bed where Tegoshi starts to brush her wet (and probably still dirty) hair without dressing either one of them. The cool air chills her skin and pebbles her nipples, turning her on all over again as Tegoshi gently untangles all of the knots without removing the blindfold.

Then Tegoshi licks her ear, and Shige jerks so hard that she almost falls off the bed. "You're making me want to keep touching you just to watch you fall apart."

"I'm not stopping you," Shige breathes, and Tegoshi takes pride in grazing her fingers along Shige's skin an inch at a time, going from place to place so she doesn't suspect it, and Shige becomes lost in a flurry of arches and moans.

The next time Tegoshi makes contact with her clit, it only takes a few seconds of rubbing before she's close again, but Tegoshi lets up before she can come. Shige whines and Tegoshi chuckles, knowing exactly what she's doing as she brings Shige to three more almost-theres before finally letting her erupt. These convulsions are especially strong, and Shige has to trust that Tegoshi will keep her from really falling off of the bed.

When she comes down, she pulls the scarf away from her eyes and inhales deeply. "I'm done."

"So am I," Tegoshi says, curling up next to Shige and flinging an arm around her chest, and Shige resigns herself to sleeping naked tonight. "For now."

In the morning, the only thing that has changed is that she doesn't have to prod Tegoshi out of bed. If they miss check out, oh well, surely the new Mr. Koyama (as Shige has compromised in her own head) won't mind shelling out an extra night's stay for them.

Even with all of the sparkles and glitter at Julie's Countdown, Koyama is still the shiniest thing in the entire dome, and not just because of her wedding ring. She's only there long enough to sing their debut song and their most recent single, but she's  _glowing_  in the maternity costume Massu had designed for her to match them. She celebrates midnight, kisses them all on the cheek, and sneaks out the back door where her husband is waiting to take her home for the next several months.

"You're going to see her  _tomorrow_ ," Tegoshi hisses when they return on stage to butcher Arashi's  _Truth_. "You are literally praying at the shrine with her in a few hours."

"It's not the same," Shige grumbles. "I've never sung on stage without her around at all."

Massu ignores them, bouncing happily because Arashi is her favorite senpai group.

Things get sentimental when the young women in SixTONES announce their debut, even if Shige only knows Morimoto because she's a huge NEWS fan. If Koyama were here, she'd probably cry and hug them all, and Shige would bet money that Koyama doesn't know all of their names either. As it is, Tegoshi and Massu earn a cacaphony of screams when they announce their comeback, leaving Shige feeling more lonely than she should be on a stage full of people.

It gets easier after that, when Shige doesn't even have to go to the jimusho because she's basically on hiatus too. She takes her vacation to France, rocks a beret with a side braid and finishes her novel, forcing herself to spend an entire week away from it so she can start editing with fresh eyes. She picks up a spring drama and laughs so hard that she cries when she learns that Ryo is her costar, which Koyama teases her about endlessly the entire week she stays with Shige while Suzuki is on a business trip.

Tegoshi's busy with Tegomasu and her usual smorgasbord of activities, but Shige still crashes her beauty sleep at least once a week. Only now it's less about being sad and more about being with each other. Even if one or both of them have to get up early, they still want to sleep together, especially if it's a been a few days since the last time. Sex is an afterthought, usually when they actually have time to stay awake long enough to make it good.

It feels weird not to have a spring tour, but Shige's not complaining when her only job is to put up with Ryo again for pay. It turns out to be a blessing in disguise when Shige misses both Koyama and Tegoshi and Ryo makes half-hearted jokes about being sloppy thirds. Ryo's special brand of snark is nostalgic, taking Shige back eight years to when they all worked together and were some semblance of friends.

"I've decided what cause I want you to fund," Shige says the next time she goes over to visit Koyama and Suzuki is there. "Since you're a man, it makes sense that you should direct your efforts to tame other men and dismantle the toxic masculinity that ends up harming people of every gender."

Suzuki nods as he listens. "So, you want me to start a foundation that teaches men and boys how to understand their emotions and denounce the influence that encourages them to be entitled and tough."

"Pretty much, yeah." Shige grins. "I don't want to be a part of it, because this is you taking responsibility for your own, but I'm sure you have some women in your firm who would be more than happy to draft you some lesson plans."

"You have one at home too," Koyama points out. "And she's under doctor's orders to keep her feet up."

Shige exchanges a glance with Suzuki, and they both get to work rubbing Koyama's swollen feet and trading smirks at the pleased noises she makes. Sometimes, Shige feels like she's in some kind of polyamorous triad with them, except that her interest in Suzuki is purely professional and she's mostly certain the feeling is mutual. Suzuki doesn't mind when she gets close with Koyama, going as far as to leave the room while they cuddle and watch TV, and Shige's not sure that's typical for married couples and their lifelong best friends. The only other married person she knows is Akanishi, and that one's not exactly the poster child for monogamy.

Tegoshi doesn't mind either, particularly when she video calls Shige from Okinawa freaking out because she and Massu accidentally kissed on stage. Shige laughs in her virtual face, wondering why Tegoshi would think she even cares about that, but it led to a serious discussion about their feelings for other people and how they're okay with each other exploring them as long as they're honest and safe.

When Shige asks Massu about it, the older idol shrugs and says she didn't think it counted as cheating at all. Her boyfriend didn't think so either.

By the time Koyama actually pops out the kid, a beautiful girl for whom Shige feels mildly sorry that she has to grow up in this world, Shige's bored off of her ass. She didn't get a summer drama, picking up a few more writing gigs just to be busy since her novel is in publication, and filming TV shows aren't any fun without Koyama. Shige probably wants her back more than the fans do, if just to have the life return to her job.

She still doesn't like kids very much, but Suzuki Erika is an adorable exception. She has Koyama's eyes and loves life as much as an infant possibly can, at least until she's hungry or cranky and then she's not happy at all, and neither are Shige's eardrums. Luckily, Shige can just leave the new parents to their creation and retreat to her own home, or Tegoshi's if they both feel like it. Now that the Tegomasu tour is over, Tegoshi doesn't have much going on either, but she's loving every minute of her free time.

It'll all be back to normal soon, or at least as normal as the life of an idol can get. Shige finds it hard to believe that it's only been a little over a year since Koyama first decided to start having a family, and now she has one. The doctors aren't confident that she'll be able to get pregnant again, but damned if she won't keep trying. Shige secretly hopes that her eggs wait long enough for them to have a proper tour, because the only thing she misses more than working with Koyama is their fans.

Shige spends her thirty-second birthday with the other three NEWS members, the first year in recent memory that they celebrated Massu and Shige's birthdays separately instead of combining them to save time. Shige has Koyama on one side and Tegoshi on the other, Massu happily avoiding their questionably friendly cuddle pile in favor of the snacks she had made especially for Shige.

In this moment, Shige's no longer worried about the future and what's in store for any of them. Right now, she's surrounded by three different kinds of love and her heart feels so full that it could burst. And it does, right out of her eyes, confusing the others because Tegoshi had just smashed cake into Massu's face.

The other three tease her about it mercilessly, now and in the years to come, but Shige would be concerned if they didn't.


End file.
